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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26310346">the perfect gift</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/homeformyheart_jen/pseuds/homeformyheart_jen'>homeformyheart_jen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Choices: My Two First Loves (Visual Novel), My Two First Loves (Visual Novel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:34:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,316</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26310346</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/homeformyheart_jen/pseuds/homeformyheart_jen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>sequel to "first choice." emma spent months carefully planning noah's 21st birthday gift and drove up to surprise him at hartfeld for the weekend, but things go south after a big fight makes them both reevaluate their relationship after three years together. my two first loves, featuring noah harris x mc.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Noah Harris/Main Character (Choices: My Two First Loves)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. the fight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>author’s note: the idea of noah of hearing how proud his dad is of him and how important emma is to him just came to me randomly in the car and it’s the fastest fic i’ve ever written (~5 hours)! this is considered a sequel/follow-up to first choice and takes place about 3 years after. read "first choice" to learn how they got together in the first place. noah's roommate "sean" is "sean gayle" of endless summer :).</p><p>copyright: all characters owned by pixelberry studios.<br/>series/pairing: my two first loves - noah harris x mc<br/>rating/warnings: M; swearing, and descriptions of drinking, smoking; smut will come in part 2<br/>word count: 3,014<br/>based on/prompt: n/a</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong> <em>the perfect gift (part 1)</em> </strong>
</p><p>emma locked the car, put the keys in the ignition, and turned on the radio. she rested her forehead on her hands that were gripping the steering wheel as the fight replayed itself in her mind and she heard noah’s hurtful words on repeat. she closed her eyes and let the tears fall, her body shaking with sobs.</p><p>
  <em>emma walked down the hallway toward her boyfriend’s apartment with a spring in her step, a large package hidden in a shopping bag swinging with each step. it was the last suite on the floor but even halfway there she could hear loud music blasting from inside. she wasn’t aware they were having a party, but she figured she would still be able to surprise noah for his birthday. she spent months putting together the perfect gift for him and was excited to give it to him. she felt a slight twinge of guilt for lying to him about not being able to visit this weekend and blowing off his texts and phone calls today but only so she didn’t accidentally let her plans slip.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>she knocked on the door and one of his roommates greeted her before pointing toward the balcony. the apartment was packed and already reeked of both beer and fruit juice, half full cans and empty plastic cups littered almost every available surface, including the beer pong table set up near the balcony. she used the key noah gave her at the beginning of the year to drop off the shopping bag with his present in his room, locking the door behind her before going to find him. he was standing over the railing with his back to the balcony door, but emma easily recognized the leather jacket and bounced excitedly over. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>she stood on her tiptoes to put her hands over his eyes and said excitedly, “guess who?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>instead of guessing, noah pulled her hands down and turned around. “you didn’t tell me you were coming. i thought you were busy today,” he said, his voice neutral and his face stoic.</em>
</p><p><em>“i wanted to surprise you for your birthday! come on, don’t look </em>too<em> happy to see me,” she teased, nudging him playfully.</em></p><p>
  <em>noah didn’t even smile. the excitement emma felt up to that point quickly changed to a combination of dread and worry. “what’s wrong, babe?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“i thought you had better things to do than spend your weekends driving 8 hours roundtrip to spend a day and a half here? you shouldn’t have come,” he said, looking away and chugging down the rest of the beer in his hand.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>emma finally noticed how dilated his pupils were and the smell of beer and whiskey radiating off him. noah never got this drunk, especially before they had a chance to talk on the phone to say goodnight. she couldn’t help but wonder if he got drunk because she blew him off today after telling him she wouldn’t be visiting.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“i thought you’d be happy to see me. you know the best parts of my week are when i get to spend time with you. i was hoping to surprise you for your birthday and i have the perfect gift for you!” emma said carefully, trying to keep the mood light.</em>
</p><p><em>noah didn’t respond right away, taking out a cigarette and lighting it first. emma frowned; noah </em>knew<em> she hated it when he smoked and he had promised her he wouldn’t make a habit of it and that he wouldn’t smoke in front of her. something was definitely wrong.</em></p><p>
  <em>she crossed her arms over her chest. “what is going on with you?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“you want to know what’s going on? here’s what’s going on – you’re wasting your time with me. there is no point in being in a long-distance relationship where we see each other once or twice a month if we’re lucky and we’re both pursuing potential careers that will make it so we see each other even less,” noah spat out angrily, turning away to take a long drag of his cigarette before continuing.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“what kind of loser spends their time in college driving 400 miles roundtrip to spend time with a deadbeat? you should be making friends and having the time of your life, maybe even dating someone who can better provide for you. you deserve so much more. why are you wasting your time with me?” noah turned back toward her, his eyes blazing with anger.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>tears started to fill emma’s eyes. she had no idea what triggered noah’s outburst but knew she couldn’t have a rational conversation with him while he was drunk. “i’ve never felt like i was wasting my time with you. every moment we have makes me so happy i feel like i must be dreaming! i don’t know what is really bothering you that you’re lashing out like this, noah, but you’re drunk. let’s go to bed and talk tomorrow when you’re sober.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“no, emma,” noah took a final drag and threw the cigarette on the floor, putting it out with his foot. “i don’t think we should talk tomorrow. i think you should go back. i’m sorry you wasted your time driving down here.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>emma watched the sparks disappear from the cigarette before responding, her voice barely louder than the noise from the party inside, “you don’t mean that. if i leave, you’re telling me our three-year relationship is over.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>she gave him a longing look, willing him to apologize and take back what he said. he looked back at her and emma saw only a glimpse of the sweet and sensitive noah she fell in love with three years ago. the noah in front of her looked at her with a broken and haunted look in his eyes. a split-second later, his gaze hardened and he shrugged.</em>
</p><p>emma had made her way out of the apartment as fast as she could and ran to her car. she was still sobbing uncontrollably 20 minutes later but at least her body wasn’t shaking as much. she was wracking her brain, thinking back to the last few months to see if she could figure out where and when things went wrong. they did feel a bit more distant as football, midterms, and applying for internships kept them preoccupied but emma didn’t think it was a problem; they were still able to see each other at least once a month and they talked daily. they had similar fights and conversations during freshman and sophomore year, when insecurities about making a long-distance relationship work and trusting each other were more prominent. but after making it through all that, emma thought they were stronger than ever.</p><p>she grabbed tissues from her glovebox and cleaned herself up. she leaned back against the seat, closed her eyes, and tried to take deep breaths to calm herself down. everything he had said felt like a dagger to her heart but what hurt the most was the way he exploded at her. he was always really good about bringing up his insecurities about their long-distance relationship and his concern for the toll it might take on her in a productive way. they agreed they wouldn’t push each other away but talk through any problems calmly like adults. and he did the exact opposite.</p><p>it was already late when she arrived at hartfeld and it would be <em>really</em> late by the time she got back to her own dorm. but going back to noah’s apartment was out of the question. she debated whether she should stay in the parking lot a little longer on the off chance that noah would come to his senses and come after her, however small a chance that was. she was rational enough to know that it likely wouldn’t happen given how drunk he was, and the later she stayed, the more tired and emotional she would be during the drive back, and she didn’t want to risk getting into an accident. she took one last look at the lack of new messages on her phone, lingering on the photo of her and noah at the beach as her wallpaper before turning the key in the ignition.</p><p>* * * * *</p><p>noah groaned at the bright sunlight streaming through the window of his room. his head was pounding and his body felt like he had lost a boxing match outdoors in 90-degree heat. he struggled to open his eyes and immediately regretted it when the sunlight nearly blinded him and seemed to amplify his headache. he couldn’t remember the last time he had been this hungover. certainly not since before he and emma became serious. <em>oh god,</em> <em>emma</em>.</p><p>he bolted upright in his bed, wincing at the sharp pain in his head and tried to rapidly blink away the dizziness he felt. he chugged the pedialyte and took the ibuprofen that was on his bedside table and forced himself to look around the room for his phone. the battery was dead. <em>just great,</em> he thought, plugging it quickly into the charger. he slowly stood up, trying to keep his nausea at bay, and grabbed his shower caddy. it surprised him how handy it was, especially considering he shared a bathroom with two other people, and couldn’t help but smile as he remembered how cute emma was when she was explaining why it was important for him to have his own caddy while they were picking out things he’d need for the apartment at uskea before school started.</p><p>he could feel the ibuprofen working to alleviate some of his headache, but knew he’d need to eat something too. noah stood still under the shower, letting the hot water run over his hair and face and down his body for a few minutes, trying to collect his thoughts and remember the events from last night. bits and pieces kept coming back to him while he got dressed and made himself a sandwich but he still wasn’t sure if what he remembered had actually happened or if he was replaying the “what if” scenarios about why it felt like emma was distancing herself from him. these scenarios had been going through his mind before the party and was the primary driver for how drunk he got.</p><p>“look who’s finally up after his crazy birthday rager! happy birthday! how you feelin’ man?” his roommate and football teammate sean came over and gave him a hard slap on the back.</p><p>noah flinched and swallowed before answering, “like crap. i’d forgotten what it felt like to be hungover.”</p><p>“i’m sure emma’ll take good care of you. is she up yet?” sean asked, turning away to set up the coffee maker.</p><p>noah felt his stomach drop. “emma? she told me she couldn’t come this weekend, too much stuff to do,” he replied apprehensively. <em>please let it just have been a dream</em>, he begged inwardly as he held his breath waiting for sean’s reaction.</p><p>sean gave him a quizzical look. “she was definitely here last night. i let her into the apartment and told her where you were hanging out on the balcony. she even had a present with her. maybe she stepped out before you woke up?”</p><p>that meant the nightmare fight he had with emma wasn’t a dream. <em>shit</em>. he heard her voice in his head say, <em>“if i leave, you’re telling me our three-year relationship is over”</em> and everything came flooding back to him. “no, no, no, crap! i think i fucked up last night. i need to call her.”</p><p>noah closed the door to his room behind him and picked up his phone. he saw that he had a single, new text message from emma timestamped at 1pm, two hours before he got up:</p><p>
  <em>[emma: happy birthday]</em>
</p><p>his thumb hovered over the picture of her smiling face he used as her contact photo in his phone. <em>maybe i’m misremembering, maybe if i explain i was so drunk i don’t even remember what i said she’ll forgive me.</em> he dialed her number and held his breath as he waited for the familiar dialing sound to start, but it didn’t. instead he heard her automated voicemail and hung up. he tried to send a text but it was clear that she had blocked his number. he put his head in his hands and let the tears he felt prickling behind his eyes fall silently. <em>what have i done?</em></p><p>after a few minutes, he wiped his tears and looked around his room. he saw what was probably the present sean mentioned and picked it up off the floor. the box was at least as wide as his laptop and maybe just as heavy, wrapped perfectly in bright pink, sparkly wrapping paper. noah chuckled softly; emma always did like trying to embarrass him. he unwrapped the paper carefully, folding it neatly and tucking it away in his bedside drawer before opening the box to reveal a beautiful leather-bound scrapbook, a card, and an envelope. he picked up the envelope first, since it seemed out of place, carefully cutting through the seal on the envelope and unfolding the letter inside.</p><p>
  <em>[dear emma,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>i’m sorry for the delay in writing back to you. thank you for the beautiful scrapbook you sent. i was so overwhelmed and grateful to you for reaching out and ashamed that i wasn’t enough of a man to write to my own son. not a day goes by that i don’t think about him and his siblings and it’s wonderful to see and hear about how well he’s doing. it’s clear that you care very much for him and that he must be someone special to you.</em>
</p><p><em>please tell him how proud i am of the man he’s become. despite having a deadbeat father who can’t hold down a job and needs alcohol to numb the pain, noah has really done well for himself. i am </em>so<em> proud of him – seeing those photos of him playing football in high school and college and those of the two of you together made me really happy.</em></p><p>
  <em>one day i hope to be worthy to be in his life again, but until then, thank you again for bringing joy back into my life and showing me what a wonderful man my son has become. if it isn’t too much trouble, i have also included a photo that i would like you to give to him – it’s one of my favorite memories of him as a kid. i hope he treats you as the treasure you are and keeps you close. it’s special and rare to have that kind of love and support in your life and you both mustn’t take it for granted.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>i move frequently due to work so please do not send anything else to this address.]</em>
</p><p>it was signed with his father’s signature. noah blinked rapidly a few times to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. even though the letter was addressed to emma, noah understood the message was intended for him. he pulled the photo out of the envelope and his eyes widened with recognition. his dad had taken him to a boxing gym and taught him how to wrap his hands and the photo was of them sparring after. given how harsh his dad was when he was a kid, noah was surprised that he would hold on to a photo like this. he opened the card next.</p><p>
  <em>[hiiii babe~</em>
</p><p>noah traced her familiar handwriting with his finger. emma drew little hearts instead of the dot on top of the letter “i”; it was a habit she kept since high school for when she wrote him letters and notes after he told her once that he thought it was cute.</p><p><em>i can’t believe you’re turning 21! you’re practically an old man </em> <em>😉</em> <em> kidding! not a day goes by where i don’t miss your sexy, brooding face and your cute butt. your personality too, I guess ;P. i hope you get everything you wanted today because you deserve all of it and more! you’re the best boyfriend a girl could ask for (and even after 3 years together, i still can’t believe i’m your first choice) and i can’t wait to celebrate with you!</em></p><p>
  <em>i love you with all my heart &lt;3</em>
</p><p><em>your first choice,<br/>
</em> <em>emma</em></p><p>
  <em>p.s. there are two parts to your present! the first is a scrapbook with photos of my favorite memories of us and the second is a letter i got from your dad (please don’t be mad). it took me a while to track him down, but i did and sent a similar scrapbook to him too. i wasn’t sure if he would respond to me, but he did and i wanted to share what he said with you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>p.p.s. i love you!]</em>
</p><p>noah froze and re-read emma’s card. she sent her dad a scrapbook? to say he was stunned was an understatement. he wasn’t sure how to feel about hearing from his dad for the first time in over a decade but he definitely wouldn’t have been mad at emma. in fact, he felt the opposite – overwhelmed with love for the amazing woman whose kind and honest heart continued to surprise him even after three years together.</p><p>he opened the scrapbook and found page after page of pictures emma had taken throughout their relationship, with handwritten captions and little sticker notes all over the pages. he felt a lump form in his throat and his eyes sting as he looked at the photos of her smiling face and the selfies they had taken on various dates. how could he have pushed her away like that last night? he quickly repacked the box and put it inside his backpack, which always had a weekends’ worth of essentials. he grabbed his keys, wallet, and phone before heading out to where his motorcycle was parked. he still felt like crap but it didn’t matter, he needed to apologize in person and prove to emma that she was still his first choice. he only hoped she would be able to forgive him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. part 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>eafter a big fight makes them both reevaluate their relationship after three years together, noah drives down to new york to try to win back his girl.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>author's note: part 2 in the sequel/follow-up to first choice. there are mentions of the crimson veil, the club owned by priya lacroix from bloodbound, danni from it lives beneath and justin mercado from save the date as a friends/classmates of emma’s.</p><p>copyright: all characters owned by pixelberry studios. song lyrics belong to their respective artists.<br/>series/pairing: my two first loves - noah harris x mc<br/>cross-series references: danni asturias (it lives beneath); justin mercado (save the date); the crimson veil (bloodbound)<br/>rating/warnings: M; smut in 2nd half<br/>word count: 6.3k<br/>based on/prompt: club scene visuals inspired by the songs “jealous” by nick jonas and “shape of you” by ed sheeran</p><p>read first choice to learn how they got together in the first place.<br/>read part 1.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <em>the perfect gift (part 2)</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>emma rubbed her eyes sleepily as she fumbled around her nightstand for her phone so she could turn off the blaring alarm. she got in late the night before after driving all night from hartfeld and collapsed on the bed, grateful that she was at least so physically exhausted that she fell asleep right away instead of being kept up by the emotional rollercoaster of that night. she turned off the alarm and checked the time. it was already noon and she did<em> not</em> want to spend all day in bed feeling sorry for herself. she also noticed she still had no new messages or missed phone calls from noah, but he was likely still sleeping off all the alcohol he drank the night before.</p><p>after a <em>very</em> long shower, emma stood in front of her bathroom mirror, taking stock of how puffy her eyes looked. her phone started ringing from the room and she hurried out to answer it. she felt a slight twinge of disappointment when she saw that it was her friend and photography grad student danni and not noah, but she answered it. she had forgotten they agreed to grab lunch after she told her about what happened as she was heading back from hartfeld. she was going to have to rush if she was going to make it to the restaurant in time.</p><p>emma plopped into the booth across from danni and gave her friend a tired smile. danni gave her a sympathetic smile. “you look like crap.”</p><p>“thanks,” emma replied sarcastically, quickly scanning the menu and putting her order in. “i’m just annoyed with myself. i have every right to be upset with him and i should be mad. but instead i just feel…” she bit her lip. “worried.”</p><p>danni took a bite of her burger and chewed thoughtfully. “that makes sense. you still care about him and love him. one fight isn’t going to change that overnight. but haven’t you guys argued about this before? maybe you need to reconsider the long-distance thing. i don’t like seeing what this does to you.”</p><p>emma nodded, forcing herself to eat the food in front of her. “yeah, but something feels different this time. usually he texts or calls right away but i haven’t heard from him. i just don’t know if he meant what he said last night or not. and whether it’s over and even worth talking about.”</p><p>“look, emma, i get that he’s your high school sweetheart and you guys have been together for a long time. but what he did last night was uncalled for and you should definitely not reach out to him first. he needs to own up to what he did first,” danni said with a sigh.</p><p>“you’re right. i know you’re right, but… it’s his 21<sup>st</sup> birthday today,” emma said softly, looking at her phone longingly at the photo of her and noah on her lockscreen.</p><p>danni snatched up emma’s phone from the table. “okay, here’s the plan. you get to send him one happy birthday text. just one. then you’re blocking his number for the rest of the day and going out with me tonight. we’ll go shopping for the perfect club outfit and we are going to be single ladies living it up tonight, just leave it all to me.”</p><p>emma knew better than to protest when danni doled out orders like that and she was too physically and emotionally exhausted to care. so when danni gave her the phone back, she sent a simple happy birthday text and blocked noah’s number. she could assume they were broken up for tonight, right?</p><p>* * * * *<br/>
after buying the “perfect clubbing outfit,” grabbing a quick bite, and taking a <em>long </em>nap, emma stood in front of her reflection in the bathroom mirror, taking note of the dark circles under her eyes that she would need to cover up. she carefully applied gold on top of the violet shadow on her eyelids before lining both with a subtle smoky eye. the gold and violet would bring out the warmth of her form-fitting, dark red, off-the-shoulder, short-sleeve dress had a sweetheart neckline and fitted corset that definitely accentuated her curves. the dress went to her mid-thigh but had a wide slit up her left thigh. she pulled on her black leather stiletto boots, a pair of dangling leaf-shaped gold earrings, and swiped on a coat of matte red lipstick. she carefully styled her long, balayage dyed hair into a side fishtail braid. even <em>she</em> had to admit, this look was perfect. she hoped she wouldn’t have to be outside for too long in the not-quite-winter autumn night chill since she wasn’t about to bring a coat to a club.</p><p>her phone buzzed with text notifications from danni:</p><p>
  <em>[danni: hey, you ready yet? justin says he can sneak us in without IDs but only if we get there by 9:30!]</em>
</p><p>emma typed out a quick reply before double-checking she had what she needed in her wristlet. she took one last look in the mirror, her gaze falling on the small heart and “N” pendant nestled on a silver chain that she always wore around her neck. noah had given it to her as a birthday gift two years ago. without giving it a second thought, emma unclasped the necklace and left it on her nightstand before locking the door behind her as she headed out.</p><p>* * * * *<br/>
noah pulled up in the visitor parking lot, which happened to sit between the drop-off roundabout and emma’s dorm building, and took off his helmet. the drive took a couple hours longer than usual, between the usual rest stops and extra stops he needed to make whenever he felt too nauseous or sleepy. it was already dark by the time he arrived and he <em>ached </em>all over. he took out his phone and tried to call emma to let her know he was here but the call went immediately to voicemail again. he sighed.</p><p>even though it was all he could think about when he wasn’t actively focused on how exhausted he was, he still wasn’t sure what he was going to say to emma. somehow, an apology alone didn’t seem like it would be enough. they had had these fights in the past where he would let out his bottled up insecurities after a night of drinking and he had promised to do better each time they reconciled. he was pretty sure he would need to own up to that.</p><p>“emma, come <em>on</em>, the dryve is here and i already texted justin a picture of your outfit so he’s <em>definitely </em>excited to see you!” noah perked up at emma’s name and looked up to see two figures walking across the quad toward the drop-off roundabout. even in the dark and from a distance, noah could tell which one was emma and the boots she was wearing was just enough for his imagination to start running south.</p><p>“slow down, i can’t run in these boots! also, why would you text justin that?” noah felt his heart ache when he heard emma’s voice. he <em>really</em> missed her and didn’t register right away that his feet had already started walking toward her.</p><p>“<em>duh</em>, because he’s had a crush on you since last year <em>and </em>i told him you were single.” noah froze. <em>single?</em> this had to be a joke, right? or maybe he was having a nightmare, some sort of hallucination from lack of sleep?</p><p>“danni, what the hell? i’m not… i mean, i haven’t,” emma stammered, frustrated.</p><p>danni just shrugged. “no one’s saying you have to<em> do</em> anything with justin. let him buy you drinks and then just blow him off by saying you’re not ready to move on yet. problem solved, now let’s go or we’re going to miss our chance to get into <em>the crimson veil</em>!”</p><p>emma sighed and let her friend drag her to the dryve waiting by the curb. as danni leaned in to double-check the driver’s identity, emma let her gaze wander across campus until she noticed a white motorcycle in the visitors’ lot that looked awfully familiar. she took a couple steps closer to get a clearer vantage point when she felt a hand on her wrist yank her back.</p><p>“what are you doing? come on!” she climbed into the car after danni but couldn’t help look out the window at the parking lot.</p><p>“that looks like noah’s bike,” she said softly, too soft for danni to hear.</p><p>noah watched as the car drove away. he desperately wanted to <em>feel </em>more like himself and then maybe he’d be able to come up with a game plan. it wouldn’t be easy to talk his way into <em>the crimson veil</em>, one of the most exclusive clubs in manhattan but he needed to get in before this “justin” person tried to make a move on emma. he looked back at emma’s dorm building with hesitation; he <em>did </em>have a copy of her room key and <em>could</em> let himself in to take a shower and change. it would show that he was serious about working things out with her, even if she got upset that he let himself into her room without her knowledge. he started walking quickly toward the building before he could talk himself out of it. he needed to look <em>and</em> feel his best if he was going to show up to that club and win back his girl.</p><p>* * * * *<br/>
it didn’t take long for them to arrive at the club, and just like danni said, their names were on the list and the bouncer barely glanced at them as he let them in. emma followed danni toward the bar as her eyes adjusted to the dim club, accented by gaudy chandeliers and soft neon lights accenting the booths and dancefloor.</p><p>“this place is awesome! what do you want to drink?”</p><p>emma skimmed the drinks menu. “i want to take it easy with the drinks, you know my rule about emotional drinking. a gin and tonic is fine.”</p><p>danni rolled her eyes. “<em>boring!</em> as long as you do at least <em>one</em> tequila shot with me,” she turned away to relay their orders when emma felt the warmth of someone’s chest against her back. she shifted so she could see behind her and found herself looking up at justin mercado, his dark brown hair styled to the side. they had worked on a project together last year for their business communications class (she was double majoring in photography and media management with a minor in communications), but emma kept her distance and shut down any flirting immediately. tonight, however, emma was taken aback by how attractive he looked with his sharp, stubble-lined jaw and black dress shirt that highlighted his toned muscles.</p><p>“hey there,” he said with a smirk, reaching past her to hand his credit card to the bartender. “this round’s on me, ladies.”</p><p>“thanks justin!” danni beamed, handing him and emma a tequila shot and lime. hoping he hadn’t caught her checking him out, emma turned away to throw back the shot, cringing at the burn from the tequila.</p><p>justin led them to a corner booth in the back of the main floor once they got their drinks, far enough from the dance floor that they could somewhat hear each other over the music. danni pulled her hand as they climbed into the booth and emma knew she intentionally made it so justin would climb in after her, leaving emma sandwiched between the two. she inwardly rolled her eyes and tried to maintain a façade of interest in whatever justin had to say, while being aware of the distance between their bodies’ and the location of justin’s arm casually behind her on the back of the booth.</p><p>danni squealed as the opening lyrics of “shape of you” by ed sheeran started blasting from the club speakers, “<em>the club isn’t the best place to find a lover; so the bar is where i go; me and my friends at the table doing shots; drinking fast and then we talk slow</em>, emma, let’s dance!”</p><p>without waiting to see if emma would follow, danni got up and disappeared into the crowd. justin stood up next and held a hand out to her. “wanna dance?” he yelled over the music. emma hesitated and stared at his outstretched hand before looking up to give him a firm nod, letting him pull her up out of the booth. he held her hand firmly as he led them to the middle of the dancefloor.</p><p>
  <em>girl, you know i want your love<br/>
</em>
  <em>your love was handmade for somebody like me<br/>
</em>
  <em>come on now, follow my lead<br/>
</em>
  <em>i may be crazy, don't mind me<br/>
</em>
  <em>say, boy, let's not talk too much<br/>
</em>
  <em>grab on my waist and put that body on me<br/>
</em>
  <em>come on now, follow my lead<br/>
</em>
  <em>come, come on now, follow my lead</em>
</p><p>emma turned around and let justin place his hands on her hips. she put her hands over his to hold them in place as she swayed her hips from side to side; she didn’t want to lead him on, but they could still dance and have fun, right? she tried to stay aware of how close justin was dancing and avoid any unintentional grinding on her part while keeping up with the beat. she closed her eyes and allowed the warm buzz from the alcohol guide her movements to the music.</p><p>
  <em>i’m in love with the shape of you<br/>
</em>
  <em>we push and pull like a magnet do<br/>
</em>
  <em>although my heart is falling too<br/>
</em>
  <em>i’m in love with your body<br/>
</em>
  <em>and last night you were in my room<br/>
</em>
  <em>and now my bedsheets smell like you<br/>
</em>
  <em>every day discovering something brand new<br/>
</em>
  <em>i’m in love with your body</em>
</p><p>it took sweet talking a group of girls near the front of the line and bribing the bouncer, but noah finally made it into the club. given how difficult it was to get into, he wasn’t surprised to see that it wasn’t overcrowded like most clubs in the city. there were enough people to make the atmosphere fun but not so many that the only way someone could navigate the room is if they either squeezed through people or elbowed them hard enough to start a domino effect, which although comical in retrospect, would definitely result in getting kicked out.</p><p>he quickly made his way to the side of the bar furthest from the entrance, looking over his shoulder once to make sure the group of girls he snuck in with didn’t notice him sneak away. in case emma noticed him first, he’d rather <em>not</em> be surrounded by a group of girls in outfits that screamed “we’re competing for who can reveal the most skin and <em>not</em> get in trouble for public nudity.” he ordered his favorite drink and out of habit, briefly did a scan across the room to note the layout of the room, location of the bathrooms, security cameras, and all potential exits. once he got a lay of the land, so to speak, he leaned against the counter, sipping his whiskey. he started looking around more casually until his gaze landed on the woman who <em>still</em> took his breath away, dancing in a sexy dress he definitely hadn’t seen her in before.</p><p>noah’s eyes traced the way her dress left her shoulders and collarbone exposed, hugging her curves down to her swaying hips before he noticed that there were a pair of hands intertwined with hers. he frowned and lifted his gaze to the tall, dark-haired, handsome-looking man (he didn’t see anything wrong with acknowledging that men could <em>look</em> attractive without him <em>being</em> attracted to them) with a definite toned build dancing against her. they weren’t grinding even though they were dancing close; as far as he could tell, it looked like emma was keeping him at a distance, holding the guy’s hands in place, although it could also be wishful thinking on his part.</p><p>
  <em>i don’t like the way he’s looking at you<br/>
</em>
  <em>i’m starting to think you want him too<br/>
</em>
  <em>am i crazy? have i lost ya<br/>
</em>
  <em>even though i know you love me, can’t help it</em>
</p><p>noah realized he was clenching his jaw and rubbed his temples to try to loosen up the tension and anxiety he was feeling. now was <em>not</em> the time for what emma called his “jealous-and-overprotective boyfriend” mode. most of the time she found it endearing but letting it take over in this situation would result in him making unfair and hurtful accusations and noah already had enough to apologize for from last night. he quickly finished off his drink, took a deep breath, and started walking toward the dancefloor.</p><p>emma was definitely the first to notice the leather jacket-clad, brooding brunette with broad shoulders and sculpted arms that came with playing football heading determinedly toward them. she looked up and drew in a sharp breath once she realized it was noah. each stride was filled with a quiet confidence, his gaze never leaving hers, and his eyes smoldering with something she couldn’t quite name - desire, jealousy, anger, maybe all of the above.</p><p>
  <em>‘cause you’re too sexy beautiful<br/>
</em>
  <em>and everybody want to taste, that’s why<br/>
</em>
  <em>i still get jealous<br/>
</em>
  <em>‘cause you're too sexy beautiful<br/>
</em>
  <em>and everybody want to taste, that’s why<br/>
</em>
  <em>i still get jealous</em>
</p><p>she released justin’s hands from her hips and turned to face him. “hey justin, i had a really great time tonight but i’m going to have to head out early. can you make sure danni’s okay?”</p><p>justin looked at her quizzically. “does this have something to do with the guy walking toward us that looks like he wants to murder me?”</p><p>emma winced and nodded. “yeah, he’s technically still my boyfriend, i think. i know danni told you otherwise.”</p><p>he shrugged and smiled. “seriously, don’t worry about it. i had fun. call me if things change with you,” he said, with a wink.</p><p>emma watched justin walk away and took a deep breath. she felt noah’s chest against her back, his fingers hovering at her sides, and his warm breath tickling her ear as he asked, “mind if i cut in?” she squeezed her eyes shut as though it would keep the memories from trickling into her mind - the last time she heard him say<em> that</em> was back in high school.</p><p>
  <em>and i’m puffing my chest<br/>
</em>
  <em>i’m getting ready to face you<br/>
</em>
  <em>can call me obsessed<br/>
</em>
  <em>it's not your fault that they hover<br/>
</em>
  <em>i mean no disrespect<br/>
</em>
  <em>it’s my right to be hellish<br/>
</em>
  <em>i still get jealous</em>
</p><p>emma couldn’t bring herself to turn around and face him. the brief respite she had while dancing with justin was gone but she wanted to <em>try</em> to enjoy herself for a few more minutes before facing reality and having to listen to noah’s excuses. she could feel her resolve weakening as his cologne filled her senses and his breath cooled the heat of her skin from the crowded club.</p><p> </p><p>he knew she was probably debating with herself inwardly and wished she would talk to him or at least<em> look</em> at him. noah felt disappointment creep in and started pulling himself away. emma reached behind and grabbed his arms, sliding her hands down until she looped her fingers with his, pulling him forward. he let out a breath of relief and gripped her hips tightly, pulling her as close to him as he could, falling into rhythm with her hips swaying to the beat. he lowered his head toward the crook of her shoulder as they grinded to the music, leaving loving kisses along her shoulder and neck. emma tilted her head to the side to give him better access to her neck and noah felt the weight in his heart lift a little at the gesture.</p><p>
  <em>‘cause you’re too sexy beautiful<br/>
</em>
  <em>and everybody want to taste, that’s why<br/>
</em>
  <em>i still get jealous</em>
</p><p>
  <em>i wish you didn’t have to post it all<br/>
</em>
  <em>i wish you’d save a little bit just for me<br/>
</em>
  <em>protective or possessive? girl<br/>
</em>
  <em>call it passive or aggressive?</em>
</p><p>the rest of the song faded into the background as emma released his hands to wrap hers around his neck. emma felt a sudden urge to<em> see</em> him and see what he was feeling in that moment. without losing the beat, she turned in his arms until she was grinding her hips into his, using the arms wrapped around his neck to bring herself closer to him. she forced herself to look up and into his eyes, keeping her face passive, searching for a truth. what truth exactly she thought she could see, she wasn’t sure, but she <em>did </em>see a lot of fear and genuine regret.</p><p>noah felt like he could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears as he looked deeply in emma’s eyes. he felt like she could see into his <em>soul </em>and in that moment, he wished she could, so that she could know the unabashed truth of how much she meant to him and how much he regret hurting her. his gaze dropped to her lips; he wanted to kiss her <em>so</em> badly but knew that he needed to tread carefully. it was a delicate, albeit often frustrating, dance to figure out when he needed to let her take the lead and when she wanted him to take initiative. the anxiety he felt in his stomach warned him to follow her lead this time. his fingers dug into her hips as if he was afraid she would slip out and run away from him at any moment.</p><p>emma dropped her gaze and leaned in to rest her forehead against his, closing her eyes. she slowed her movements so her hips were swaying gently against his in time to the music, relishing the feel of being in his arms. she closed the rest of the gap between their bodies, resting her chin on his shoulder, breathing in his musky, leathery scent. she had missed him, missed <em>this</em>, moments like these where it felt like the rest of the world didn’t exist and it was just <em>them</em>. when the song ended, she stood on her tip toes so she could murmur in noah’s ear, “want to get out of here? we should probably talk.” she noticed him swallow and nod, letting go of her hips so he could grab her hand and lead her out of the club.</p><p>* * * * *<br/>
emma quietly looked out the window in the back of the dryve the entire way back to campus. noah kept stealing glances over to see if he could gauge how she was feeling, but she didn’t turn to look at him once during the entire drive. he grabbed her hand and laced his fingers with hers both out of habit and a need to touch her. she resisted half-heartedly once but he held tight and couldn’t help the small smile on his face when she didn’t resist again. he tapped his finger against his thigh nervously, trying not to feel <em>too </em>hopeful that she would forgive him, but he certainly felt better about the likelihood of it after dancing at the club.</p><p>once they were inside her room, emma suddenly felt a pit form in her stomach. she really didn’t want to have this conversation with him but knew she couldn’t avoid it anymore. she motioned to noah to make himself comfortable while she stepped into the bathroom to wipe off her makeup and take off her boots and jewelry. she didn’t want to change into one of his old football shirts that she usually slept in quite yet and give noah the impression that things were back to normal.</p><p>while emma was in the bathroom, noah sat himself down on one end of her loveseat and looked around the room. he noticed the necklace on the nightstand as the “N” initial necklace he had gifted her on their first anniversary and his heart sank as he realized she had taken it off. he couldn’t remember a time when she wasn’t wearing it, so this definitely wasn’t a good sign. when the bathroom door opened he stood up reflexively. he thought he saw a ghost of a smile on her face as she approached the loveseat and sat down on the opposite end, tucking her legs under her.</p><p>he was debating whether or not to speak up first but she beat him to it. “i was not expecting you to drive down here today, much less show up at the club. how did you know where i’d be?”</p><p>“when i got here i saw you and your friend leaving the building. i overheard her say you were going to <em>the crimson veil</em> but before i could come up to you, she basically dragged you into the car,” he said, shifting in his seat. “i’m sorry, emma. for everything.”</p><p>emma maintained a neutral facial expression and gave him a long look. only her eyes betrayed how fast her mind was processing information and weighing the repercussions of different responses. finally, she said, “what exactly are you sorry for? do you remember everything from last night?”</p><p>noah bit his lip and nodded. “yeah, i remember most of it. i felt like we were growing apart over the last few weeks; i know we were both busy but it felt like our relationship was taking a backseat. so when you told me you couldn’t make it up to see me on my birthday… i was more upset than i thought i’d be. i drank way more than i should’ve last night and let my frustrations and doubts fester until it exploded like that. i really am sorry.”</p><p>emma sighed and looked away. “i know you’re sorry, and i know you feel really bad. but you’ve done this before and we’ve talked about this. it feels like you’re taking for granted that i’ll forgive you and i’m just so <em>tired</em> of doing this with you. you need to bring up your doubts and concerns with me instead of letting them build up and definitely not drink when you’re upset.”</p><p>“i know. i promise i’ll do better,” noah said, scooting closer to her so he could grab both her hands in his. “i love you, baby. can you forgive me?”</p><p>emma already knew what her answer was before he even asked. she loved him too much and she knew he was much harder on himself than anyone else and probably had been beating himself up over this all day. “i forgive you. i still feel upset, but i’ll get over it soon. i love you.”</p><p>“thank you, baby.” noah was thrilled. he leaned in without hesitation to wrap her up in his arms. emma let herself relax and enjoy the familiarity and warmth of his body against hers. noah shifted so he could pull her into his lap and emma cupped his face in her hands, leaning forward to give him a deep kiss. she pulled back and saw that he was looking up at her with pure adoration, and her breath caught with emotion – she loved this man so<em> damn</em> much.</p><p>noah’s eyebrow furrowed with concern. “what’s wrong, baby?” she was always surprised at how well he could read her. emma could feel tears prickling the back of her eyes.</p><p>“i just love you so much. and you pushing me away last night really hurt,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.</p><p>noah raised his chin to give her a soft kiss. “i’m so sorry for hurting you like that. i’m going to make it up to you.” he left a trail of kisses across her jaw and down her neck, stopping to give a teasing kiss on her collarbone. “i’m going to worship you like the goddess you are. you are so goddamn gorgeous, emma. it took every ounce of restraint i had not to carry you out of the club when i saw you dancing,” noah murmured, kissing along her shoulder and down to the top of her breasts.</p><p>emma shifted so she was straddling him and ran her hands through his soft hair. “were you jealous?”</p><p>noah paused and pulled back to look at her again. his hands roamed up and down her back until they settled on her ass. “you’re damn right i was jealous. i can’t <em>stand</em> the thought of you looking <em>this </em>sexy for another man.” his grip tightened and emma bit her lip to keep from moaning as she started grinding slowly on his lap, eliciting a soft grunt from noah.</p><p>“so what are you going to do about it?” she whispered in his ear, grinding up and down slowly, enjoying the feel of how much she was turning him on.</p><p>noah growled and stood up, gripping her tightly against him. emma wrapped her legs and arms tightly around him instinctively. “i’m going to make sure<em> i’m</em> the only man for you, starting by making you scream my name.”</p><p>he reverently laid her on the bed, kissing and touching her everywhere. emma felt warmth bloom from each spot he kissed and touched, as one hand massaged her breast while the other traced a finger up and down her thigh. she put her hands on his chest and gently pushed him back. “if i’m a goddess, then prove it. strip.”</p><p>noah smirked. he could take orders from her all day. he slowly pulled his shirt over his head, slowly revealing his abs before unbuckling his belt. he unzipped his pants and let them fall, stepping out of them and taking a step toward the bed. emma held up a hand and moved forward until she was sitting on the edge of the bed. she gave him the most smoldering look she could muster as she reached under her dress to pull down her panties before slowly spreading her legs apart. “worship me.”</p><p>emma watched noah’s eyes darken and he swallowed visibly. she let her eyes wander down his broad shoulders, sculpted abs, and <em>very</em> erect member, enjoying how it twitched when she gave orders. she laid back against the bed, stretching her arms overhead as noah started kissing up her thigh. she reached forward to weave her fingers in his hair and pulled his head gently back to look at her. “no teasing. worship me, now.”</p><p>noah surged forward, licking up her folds until he reached her clit. he alternated sucking and swirling his tongue over her sensitive spot, listening for her gasps and moans that would cue his movements. emma felt her hips rise and start moving involuntarily, his breath leaving a tingling feeling everywhere he touched with his tongue. he was incredibly adept at figuring out exactly what would get her off and it was all she could do not to squeeze her thighs around his neck to get closer. he pulled back slightly and emma whimpered at the sudden loss of warmth, although the contrast from the cooler air in the room gave her goosebumps. she felt him stroke her with a finger and resume his tongue ministrations and emma threw her head back, arching her back. she was getting close and noah knew it. he added a second finger and sped up his strokes, making sure his tongue swirled clockwise and then counterclockwise until he could feel her thighs start to shake.</p><p>“god, noah, i’m close— don’t stop, <em>yes</em>!” emma gasped, closing her eyes as he brought her over to the edge and continued to stroke and lick her so she could ride out her orgasm. she felt noah slow down and eventually stop as she tried to catch her breath. he hovered over her and emma opened her eyes just as he leaned down to give her a passionate kiss. she licked her lips as he pulled away, tasting herself.</p><p>she wanted more. “take my clothes off. now,” she ordered, watching with amusement as noah silently reached under her until he found the zipper, pulling it down and slowly taking the dress with it.</p><p>“this might be my new favorite dress of yours. although i definitely prefer you out of it more,” he murmured, leaving featherlight kisses on each her most sensitive spots as he freed them from the fabric. kisses on the top of her breasts, swirling his tongue over her nipples before continuing to kiss down her stomach and her hips. he let the dress fall to the floor and emma scooted higher on the bed so that he could lean over her more comfortably. he nudged her legs apart again with his knees as he hovered over her, kissing her passionately until emma literally didn’t think she could breathe.</p><p>noah pulled back, prompting emma to look up at him. “tell me what you want, baby,” he said breathlessly. emma reached up to trail her fingers down his back until she reached his ass and gave it a squeeze, eliciting a low moan.</p><p>“i want <em>all</em> of you, noah,” she murmured back. noah lined himself up and entered her slowly.</p><p>once he was buried to the hilt, noah stilled, looking at her to make sure she was okay. she <em>loved</em> the feeling of him being inside her and wrapped her legs around the back of his thighs to hold him tightly against her. she lifted her hips upward and started moving and he followed her lead; they fell into a familiar rhythm, grabbing, touching, and kissing each other everywhere they could.</p><p>her back arched and noah held her tightly as she felt pressure start to build in her abdomen again; she tilted her head back and noah kissed her neck and swirled his hips just the way she liked it. all she could manage was a gasp before crying out as the pressure peaked and cascaded over, drowning all her senses with pleasure. noah continued to thrust his hips to help her ride out her orgasm before he followed with a grunt, crying out her name as his seed filled her up. emma was too dazed to respond and wanted to enjoy the bliss before she came down from her high.</p><p>“god, that was <em>definitely</em> the best sex we’ve ever had,” emma breathed, placing a hand on her chest to try to calm her beating heart. “thank god i’m on birth control.”</p><p>“well, they say make up sex is the best kind,” noah replied, lifting his head from the crook of her shoulder. his breath was ragged and he wasn’t quite ready to leave the warmth of her body yet even though they were both spent.</p><p>emma gave him a piercing look. “don’t go getting any ideas. i do <em>not</em> like being mad at you.”</p><p>“don’t worry, i hate it when you’re mad at me,” he said without a hint of his usual snark. if emma had any lingering doubts about noah’s feelings for her, which she didn’t, they would have immediately disappeared at the amount of heartwrenching love she could see in his eyes.</p><p>“well, i’m not mad at you anymore. lucky for you, since it’s your birthday for another,” she said with a smirk, quickly glancing at the clock before continuing, “four minutes. before i forget to ask, did you like your gift?”</p><p>“i <em>loved</em> it and i want to talk to you about it tomorrow, but <em>this</em> right now is the most perfect gift i could ask for,” noah murmured, resting his forehead on hers and trying to get his breathing back under control. emma’s chest was heaving up and down beneath his, her face flushed where it lay framed by his forearms.</p><p>emma opened her eyes and smirked up at him, lightly dragging her fingernails up and down his back. “what, sex? you’re really setting a low bar for future presents, casanova. although i will say this fits nicely within my budget,” she teased.</p><p>noah let out a low, husky laugh and emma could feel her body immediately flush underneath his. he was so damn <em>sexy</em>. he lifted his head to look her in the eyes before punctuating each point with a kiss. “no, <em>this</em>.” he kissed her forehead. “<em>us</em>.” her nose. “<em>you</em>.” her cheek. “<em>here</em>.” he worked his way down her face and left a few feathery kisses along her jaw. “<em>with me</em>.”</p><p>emma’s eyes fluttered closed as noah left a sweet kiss in the hollow of her collarbone and started working his way back up. “knowing i haven’t lost you.” he kissed the skin just beneath her earlobe and whispered, “knowing you still love me.” he resumed kissing a trail from her ear to her lips. “knowing you’ll still let me love you.” he hovered a hair’s breadth away from her lips when he murmured the word <em>love</em>, his eyes full of longing and adoration. she closed the gap between them, bringing her hands up to cup his face.</p><p>“i love you, emma. <em>so</em> <em>much</em>,” he said, giving her a lingering kiss before shifting his weight off her to lay on his back. emma curled her body into his and lay her head on his chest. his arm wrapped around her shoulders in an attempt to pull her even closer.</p><p>emma reached over to cup his cheek and turn his face toward her. “i love you too, baby. happy birthday.” she tilted her head up and gave him a soft kiss before sighing happily and letting the sound of his steady heartbeat lull her to sleep.</p><p>“goodnight, babe,” noah whispered as he pulled the comforter up around her shoulders. he closed his eyes and let himself fall asleep to the sound of her even breathing and the feel of her in his arms, feeling ever grateful for the love he had in his life.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i appreciate any comments you may have - to find this on tumblr, feel free to check out my writing/art reblogs @homeformyheart.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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